My Prayers for my Child ♥

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV).

This verse has been making me kilig for the past few days now! It's a wonderful thing to know that God, the one who created the universe and everything that is in it, knows my child beforehand and has a future prepared for him/her already! ♥

These days I've been praying double and saying little prayers all throughout the day for my baby. I bask in the happy, secured feeling that my child is doing well inside and growing like he/she is supposed to. A few weeks ago, I had this anxiety in my heart brought about by an innocent (I hope to believe so) comment from someone who said that my body "doesn't look pregnant", maybe my baby is "malnourished and small" inside. That broke my heart, and although I believe she was just concerned about my baby's health, a feeling of hurt and fear crept inside of me. I don't know if I am being too sensitive (preggo hormones) or emotional, but I can't help but to worry about my child.

Worry. Yes. The worst thing any believer can do. I have heard over and over again and practiced not worrying these years, but I think pregnancy can really make you crazy sometimes. As of today, it's making me wake up and eat RICE and ulam at 2 in the morning (after having rice for dinner hours before) and nap from 5PM to 8PM, and still feel sleepy by 10PM. In fact, I've been sleeping like a tired construction worker (and eating like one,too) that my husband and I seldom go out lately. The only time we go to the malls is when I crave for Jollibee or any other food we can't cook.

So back to the innocent comment, I so wanted to answer her and tell her how much food I eat in a day, and explain that my body has been like this since forever, or get an ultrasound machine, lather my belly with KY jelly and show her that my baby is growing appropriately. But I only managed to say "Grabe, healthy naman daw sya sabi ng OB" which sounded too defensive and hurt.

Since then, I prayed harder for God to cover my child and bless him/her with a perfect body and health. I memorized bible verses which declare God's love for my little one, and assure me that my child is "wonderfully and fearfully made." I declare these verses every time I pray and prayed over my child more than ever. And while I was meditating on God's words for me and my baby, God showed me my mistake---I relied too much on the information from this world and forgot about His promises.

My husband gave the nickname "little dinosaur" to our little one, but when I ask him why, he had no reason at all. Haha! He said it just came to him. So that makes us dinosaur mom and dinosaur dad, right? Well, that's how I felt ever since I knew I was pregnant, I felt like a huge monster for information about pregnancy and hoarded all pregnancy ebooks and pdfs I can get! I downloaded several pregnancy apps on my phone, Ipad and laptop, and yup, you guessed it, my work computer is loaded with some of these books and websites, too (sorry boss,LOL). I read and read and read and panicked every time I learn a new risk and checked out all the possible things that could go wrong in every week of my pregnancy (as if I haven't studied all of them in college). Crazy, right?! Some days, I would go home from the office and tell my husband "Alam mo ba, pwede pala na kulang yung fingers and toes ni baby, or pag may ganito syang sign, may chormosomal defect, blah blah blah" or "Grabe may nabasa ako sa forum yung isang mommy 7weeks nalaglag yung baby nya" and that's when James would snap and say "Tigilan mo na nga yang kakabasa mo ng mga ganyan!" HAHA He said it only makes us worry about nothing and I know he is 101% right.

But I just couldn't help it. I want the best for my baby and since it's just the two of us living here, I want to make sure I know what I will do if ever something happens. We don't have my mom physically with us, to tell me "don't sit like that" or "it's just acid, you're not miscarrying" or anyone to really see how I look and guide me how I should carry on for the next few months. Although my mom is so sweet to check on me thru messenger every single day, I still want to be knowledgeable myself.

It's not bad to know all those things, but God reminded me that He is still in control of everything. What science says can happen will only happen if He allows it. He reminded me of the beautiful promises He has in store for my child. He knows him/her and He crafted him/her wonderfully--every single cell, every single organ. He even knows the number of hair my baby has in his/her head! God said he has predestined this child to be under our stewardship, and He has prepared my body well enough to be a great vessel of growth for my precious one.

So now, every time I pray, instead of worrying about what others say should be happening in my body now, I look unto God and His plan for me and my baby. I ask for His blessing in every part of my child's body, for his/her brain to develop properly and have a strong, intelligent mind, a memory so sharp so he/she can memorize God's scriptures and store it in his/her heart; for his/her face to form beautifully and always carry a smile that will make other people smile, too; for his/her mouth to form perfectly and speak of love and grace and blessings; for his/her vocal chords to develop well and be blessed with a good singing voice to be a worship leader; for his/her heart to be whole and complete and be filled with kindness and compassion for others and a big love for God and His word; for his/her arms and hands to be complete and strong and blessed with gifts of playing instruments for worship, or painting like his/her dad; for his/her legs to be strong to carry him/her wherever God will lead Him to to proclaim His gospel and above all, for him/her to be blessed with "a life worthy of God and live it to please Him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God" (Colossians 1:10) ♥

We can't wait to see you our perfect, beautiful little love ♥♥♥