LDR Works ♥

If there is one great achievement my fiance and I have as a couple, that is graduating from our LDR phase (with flying colors- LOL). Undoubtedly, that is the hardest part of our 4-year old relationship. But I am a believer of the phrase "everything happens for a reason" and I have proven that true in our case. Albeit difficult, that phase brought many good things for us.

1. Space, space and a lot more space.

Space is good. When James had to leave for Kuwait, fear crept in me because of thoughts that our connection may fail. I was (still am) a clingy person, the type who wants to share every moment with my loved ones, much more with my boyfriend. Aside from him being my romantic partner, he is also my bestest friend, so you can imagine how I felt then. Not having him around meant not having my best friend join me in food trips, movies, beach, and special occasions. But actually, when I got used to him not being physically with me, it felt like a breather. The space we had made me see things as it is, not how it would look or feel if he was with me. I learned to enjoy movies, food and places as they were and not just appreciate them because he was doing it with me.

2. Me Time Overload!

Yup, we had a lot of time for ourselves when we were apart. In Kuwait, he enjoyed sneaker shopping around every mall without a girlfriend complaining her feet are painful from walking in heels. In Pinas, I had a lot of time spent in salons without worrying about my sleeping boyfriend in the salon lobby. We had the privilege of doing the things we want at any given time. That's when I got the chance to have my hair colored blonde (because he wasn't there to stop me from doing so) and he had the chance to get a tattoo (because I wasn't there to stop him, too). I had the time to regularly go to the gym and he did the same as well.

We did those things not just because the opportunity is greater, but also because we were inspired. I wanted to always be better-looking, best version of myself in anticipation of the moment we will see each other again (and I wanna look good in Skype because he might screenshot our convo anytime). I don't know for others, but for me, it felt like you want someone to see you after a long time and say "wow, you look even better now" (and secretly hoping that that will make him wanna stay with me for good- LOL). The feeling of having someone who is excited to see you again is sweet and motivating--it will make you want to improve yourself. :)

3. Growth.

The space we had gave us both an opportunity to grow in many aspects. His job overseas gave him his financial breakthrough and opportunities for promotion. In my case, I got to focus on my career goal and had the blessing of being promoted 3 months after he left. Because we didn't have the chance to spend time being together, we were able to focus on our careers, our family and our spiritual life. Admit it or not, relationships can be a hindrance in your time for other things.

In our case, we consider being in an LDR an answered prayer. We prayed for financial readiness to start a married life and most importantly, we prayed for spiritual growth and purity, and God gave that answer. Not having him around to talk to all the time because of time difference, I had time to talk to my family at home, my friends and most importantly, to God. It gave me the focus I needed to really spend time knowing the Lord and growing in faith. I was able to attend all church activities, seminars and fellowships, read the bible and teach in Sunday school. Same went for him--he was able to have his regular devotions, attend services and grew deeper in faith because of the focus he had. After all, only God can tell when you both are ready to be together again, so you better tak to Him regularly about it. :)

4. The Return of the Prodigal Friend

Admit it, when you started a relationship with your boyfriend, your girl friends always didn't get to see you in your group. And since you no longer have a date to go to, or a boyfriend to attend to, you now have the luxury of spending time with your friends. I am definitely guilty of this crime but when James and I had the distance, I got to spend a lot of moments with my friends. I became the girl who is "always available" to the point that I called myself "kaladkarin sa galaan". Be it a weekday coffee date or a weekend at movies, I was there. The good thing about it is I got to have better relationships with my friends than ever before. In his case, he got to meet new friends and housemates which he now considers his brothers.

5. The Selfie Game

Anyone who is in a long distance relationship can testify how great help smartphones and apps can give. When we were apart, I became the girl who is always online and downloaded every communication app there is. I have Viber, WeChat, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Tango, Line, KakaoTalk---name it, I tried it. I shifted from being the 20pesos prepaid loader to being an UnliData plan subscriber. James, who is not a very techie guy suddenly bought a smartphone and now knows how to Instagram (peace babe). Only a true blooded LDR thriver can understand why we have to take pictures of everything that's happening around us, why we take too much selfies and OOTD's (gave me a good excuse for vanity), and why deadspots can make us cry. You always want to share your world with your loved one as it is happening.

On a serious note, communication is an essential part of this thing called LDR. So if ever you will be into one, make sure you are always updated about each other. Some of the minor fights you will have will be caused by being surprised from knowing things your partner did without informing you first (like going out late at night or with a friend you don't know). That could be a start of doubt--the number one killer of long distance relationships. Doubt will lead to serious mistrust issues, jealousy, infidelity and worst, falling apart. So, never ever give your partner a reason to doubt. :)

It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies for us, we had grave fights and challenges but at the end of the day, we didn't let the distance ruin what we have. We communicated, we talked, we kept the connection. In our story, I was always the weak one, I almost gave him up because of the sadness of not being with him when I need him. I got overwhelmed with the absence of my very best friend when I was crying, down and sick. (and okay, I'll admit, I got jealous a few times)

But he held on and made me see the beauty of our situation. Being in a long distance relationship is hard, really, but the things mentioned above make it bearable and worth it. Now that we have overcome it, I see the purpose and reason why we had to be apart---we had to grow and be ready individually so He can bring us back together again. Whenever I felt like ending the pain, he reminded me that we should never assume full control of our lives, but let God take the wheel. If He brought you to a phase, He will deliver You with His grace. ♥♥♥

Take it from me, the feeling of seeing your partner again after a long time is so good you will surely forget all the pain you felt from being away. ♥