True Love ♥

"The way we love our spouses should make the love of Christ believable and true. "

Lately, I've been so engrossed in reading books about marriage and I'm enjoying every page of it. It helped me see how blessed I am for having a God who designed a wonderful thing called marriage and a husband like James. We've been married for almost a month now, so yes, we're still at what they call the "honeymoon phase". I mentioned in my previous blogs that we were quite disappointed when our wedding date was moved in June instead of April, but now I see how great God's plan is. Having our honeymoon phase start this Ramadan season is very convenient since we only spend a few hours at work and get to spend a lot of time at home. This gives us more opportunity to fix the room (then mess it up again), watch movies together, cuddle and talk, do silly things, cook and then do even sillier things!

Just like any other new wife, I tend to overthink and be super cautious to actually do things right. I want to know how a wife should love and serve her husband, how I should move around the house (in addition to my real struggle on how to iron his clothes right, how not to ruin the clothes in the washing machine, etc.) And if that's not too much to think about, I also tend to check how James should love and serve me, how he should act as "head of the household" and simply wonder "How do the seasoned couples do it?!"

Then I found the answer in one of my favorite verses: John 13:34 says "I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another". This passage applies to everyone in the body of Christ and not really couple-specific, but it is very clear: we ought to love one another just as God loves us.

And exactly how much does God love us?

Well, no words can actually describe it, but here is how:

Romans 5: 8-10 is certain:

"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life."

God loves us so that He gave His son, Jesus Christ, to save us from the wages of sin. Definitely, there is no greater love, no greater sacrifice than this. I can go on and on about how tremendous God's love is and I can just speak about it all day, but let me use one adjective to describe this kind of love--- SELFLESS.

And so I realized, this is where great love stories start---you become filled with God's love for you as you accept Him in your life and it overflows. By knowing and letting that love work in you, you start to see others differently. You can now share that love to others without asking for anything in return because you know that the love of God is always enough. You become ready to give your all to someone, just like God gave His all for you. The unlovable becomes lovable, the unforgivable is always excused, and the ugly part of someone's personality suddenly shines like light that radiates His beauty.

The kind of love that makes me, a girl who grew up in my mom's constant attention and care, suddenly learn to do household chores. Something that makes a girl who never touched a single laundry all her life become the clothes washing expert. A love that moves a heavy, daytime sleeper like me to wake up early and cook breakfast. Wonderfully, you forget yourself and put your better half in priority. And what's so wonderful about it is, it feels as if you do not have to exert any effort at all.

My husband gives me a lot of joy. I have always competed with him on who is the sweeter one, but now, I concede, and I admit that he is sweeter and more romantic than I am.

Let me enumerate the many ways my husband loves me the way he knows I should be loved:

1. He "endures" my inarte moments. Even in my most unexplainable attitude, he is humble enough to apologize and fix things.

(Process: -I get mad.

I ignore him.

He tries to talk to me.

I continue to ignore him.

He gets frustrated.

He ignores me.

He comes to me and say sorry.

I roll my eyes.

He hugs me.

I hug him.

We're okay -end-)

2. He surprises me. He works at night until 3AM, and I go to work at 8AM, so he is usually fast asleep when I get up for work at 7AM. Whenever I wake up late, I rush to the shower upon getting up, and when I come out, surprise, breakfast is already served. Even if he has done that for a lot of times already, I still get surprised and kilig. It's funny how he would pretend to sleep soundly again and make it look like the food just popped up out of nowhere. Pabebe moves!

3. He wants me to be happy. He never fails to give me the food that I am craving for (well, I always threaten him that preggos should not be disappointed especially with food. He believes it even if he knows I am not preggy LOL) Whenever I have something I want to buy, he gets overly curious about it and the next thing I know, he already bought it for me.

4. He makes me laugh. I always thought I am the funny one because he always tells me he loves my witty humor. But actually, he is funnier and he outsmarts me. For four years, we seldom had dull moments (only when we are both hungry). I shared a few video clips of his crazy moments on IG and FB but those are just the tip of the iceberg. My favorite is when he pretends to speak like Olivia, our imaginary baby girl who speaks like a high-pitched brat. We were thinking of baby names, and we came up with Olivia Francesca, Olivia after my favorite supermodel and beauty queen, Olivia Frances Culpo (Miss Universe 2012) and Francesca is the Italian version of Francisca, his mom's name. We were imagining how Olivia would be like as a kid, I said most probably she will be chubby, cute and maasim just like him and then he suddenly answered "Hindi naman po ako maasiiiiiimm" in an annoying, high-pitched bratty tone and that's where it started. When I tell him he eats too much, or ask him why he left his cap on the sofa, he will answer in "Olivia" tone, like a brat kid reasoning out, so I would laugh and he gets away from my scolding. Sometimes I will pretend to ask him "how's school, Olivia?" and he will answer "Okay lang po mommy, konti lang po ang naagaw kong baon" or "Okay lang po mommy, maasim pa rin ako like daddy" (Of course, everything are just meant for fun, we don't want a bratty child LOL)

If we'll have a boy, we want Jacob Lucas for his name (Jacob-Hebrew version of James and Lucas-after Luke, a doctor, one of Christ's apostles.) but so far we haven't imagined how his voice would be as a kiddo. hehe

5. He serves me. He cooks, he does the laundry, he vacuums the floor, he hustles in the house just like me. Although I always make it a point to always serve him as a good wife to her husband, he will always reciprocate what I do. He cooks better adobo than me anyway so I let him do some chores sometimes. I always fall in love with him again and again whenever I taste his chicken adobo, simply the best!!

6. He provides. Everything. He always make it a point to settle all our bills without asking for my help. When I feel he needs help, I proactively share but he never requires me. He is able to do so because like his favorite line "Mayaman ang Diyos ko, He will provide". :) And indeed, the Lord has been faithful in blessing us with our needs, sometimes even more. He lets me do what I need to do with my own salary. The catch is, I get to buy him the stuff he likes. So in the end, bills are paid he got new kicks. Winning moment.

7. He prays with me and for me. This is the sweetest thing he does. He never fails to initiate prayer time and lets me have my personal prayer time as well. He will always check "nag devotion ka na ba?" "nagpray ka na ba?" (before I touch the spoon during meals). The only time he ignores me is when I don't know he was praying and talked to him. Obviously, he knows who to prioritize between who he speaks to in prayer and me, and I am more than happy to know that I am not. :) He makes sure we get to church on time and there will be no questions asked if we had to cancel mall time or going out with friends if it will affect our worship schedule.

Well, one blog post is not enough to describe James' efforts and sacrifices for me but I hope you are able to imagine how he loves. He is never selfish and always puts my welfare first.

But actually, he is not the hero of the story. He cannot do any of these things if Christ is not in his heart. If he don't know God and he don't read what He says in His word, he will be clueless on how to love a wife. Sometimes, marriages fail because people get too self-centered and only care about what they need, instead of minding their partners' needs. A wife cheats because she feels her husband cannot give her what she needs, a husband looks for another because his wife cannot give him the pleasure he craves. It becomes all about themselves. They forget how to be selfless.

Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," We fall short of what God created us for, we fail to serve our purpose of bringing glory to His name. We were sinners. If God only thought about Himself, He could've given us up all to death and created a new generation who can glorify His name. But no. Romans 5:8 shows us the astounding truth: 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Instead of satisfying His wrath for our sins, He let His Son die for our salvation. He gave His all. Christ could have enjoyed a glorious life on earth for He is God but He chose to suffer for us. He chose to live a lowly life so we can be saved. He was and still is selfless. Because He loves us.

Imagine every spouse having the same kind of love for their partner---pure, real, selfless. Imagine marriages founded and nurtured in God's love. It will not be perfect, because God says we will have troubles in this life, but definitely, it will be victorious, just like His love for us. ♥